Any Given Sunday – remix

Those who know me well, or remember my past, will be surprised by the news. Some will say they’re not surprised… but they might be shocked to know that it did surprise me.

When I came to Mountaintop I had hopes of leaving media behind. Though I accepted a position that included it to a degree, the goal was to move out of it. And I mostly succeeded. The past two years have allowed me to mostly leave video behind and do other ministry and pastoral things. The only real day-to-day media function that I kept was graphic design, which if I do say so myself, I’ve become rather great at doing.

So when Paul decided to step away from a full-time position in Media at Mountaintop to pursue more schooling, I was excited at fact that they did not come to me and ask me to fill the position. Knowing churches like I do, it was quite an honor to not be considered. But as day turned into week and week into month we were all suprised at the calibre of candidates we were getting. Yes, we came across a couple, meaning two, resumes that we considered anywhere close to the level of candidate we required… but I was continually amazed that more high-quality people did not come along.

Then, I began to consider that I might be a part of the solution. At first, I figured I might simply give directive and creative attention to the new Media Director to help get him through… but when my Pastor asked if I’d considered actually taking the department completely, I had to step back and wonder if this was where God was leading.

The reality was this: I’d have to give up most of the job functions (even some ministries) that I’d come to enjoy leading. It also meant that I would have to move back into a hands-on role in media creation and execution. A TV Show, Worship IMAG, volunteers, etc., etc. Could I do a job that I had long since lost the passion for? THAT was the question.

And to be sure, I am not yet convinced of the answer. Did I really lose the passion for it? Could I really meet or exceed Paul’s level of execution? Could I live up to my Pastor’s expectations? And, more importantly to me, could I live up to the persona that had been created about me. You see, my shoes are big shoes to fill. Can I even fill my shoes? Not that I ever was spectacular at what I did in media… but having left the media arena in such a spectacular fashion at the ‘height of my career’. There is still much folklore attached to my ability in media production.

Anyway, none of those things really matter. What matters is this: I feel like God is moving me in that direction again. I’ve felt a restlessness for several months that had no seeming catalyst or resolution. I feel that restlessness no longer. I now feel a level of anxiety over the new position… not about my ability to knock the ball out of the ballpark, but my ability to enjoy my time in the stadium. The job should renew me, not drain me. That is my prayer going forward.

So while I am still assisting in Pastoral functions, teaching, leading in a ministry or two, and doing other exciting things… I also now have a new job function as well as a new title:

Minister of Creative Media.

So I’m back in the trenches again… leading a volunteer team, producing a TV show, coordinating media in Services, managing the church’s design workload, etc. etc.

The list goes on and on and I try not to think about all of it for fear of quickly becoming overwhelmed. All I know is that I must follow the example of Abram in Genesis 12. God asked him to pick up everything he had, leave everything he knew, and set out for a destination unknown. Without question or comment, Abram picked up and left. That passage has been for these last two weeks.

I’m not asking questions, I’m making no comment, I’m not thinking of my fear or anticipation. I’m just going.

Cause I don’t want to be where You are not.