Gay.

Christian.

Gay.

Two words that most of us in the church community would never use in the same sentence… unless also using the word ‘hell’ and/or ‘abomination’.

Recently, California’s Supreme Court declared gay couples in the nation’s biggest state can marry. most of the church-goers I know would see this as a terrible thing. But I ran across a blog over at xxxchurch.com that made me think twice so i wanted to post it here… not because it reflects my personal opinion, but because it made me stop and think:

“So many people are up in arms over this because of this ruling. My thoughts are that the people that say that this is a huge hit for traditional marriage…I don’t agree. This does not take away anyones right to have a traditional marriage. This does not mean traditional marriage is facing a threat. This gives those that want to have a same sex marriage the same rights those that want to have a traditional marriage already have. I don’t believe this will have any effect on traditional marriage. Those that want to have a traditional marriage still are able to do that. I think gay marriage goes against what the Bible says about marriage but at the end of the day I believe that they should have the same rights.

“Romans 12:2 says: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

“People that don’t know the lord have no reason for living like those that belong to the Lord. We are suppose to stand out and live our lives as God has called us. If we believe that God has created marriage to be between a man and a women then believers need to be a test to that. Our marriages are not in danger because people that don’t believe like us want to get married.

“Barna studies says Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

“Christian traditional marriage is in danger because Christians are not living a life that God has called us to live.

WOW. That last line was what really got me thinking. Is that really true? could it really be the Church itself that has put marriage in jeopardy?? Talk about a statement that forces you to take the plank out of your own eye before you remove the speck of dust from someone else’s!

Were that the end of the matter, I would have moved on and forgotten about it. But this week I was confronted with another article about gay students and Cedarville University, my alma mater. Written originally for print in the student newspaper, it was never published… but eventually was leaked.

This article really hit close to home as I actually knew a couple of people struggling with homosexuality during my time at Cedarville. It was tough for them because there was nowhere to turn for help.  This article reminds me that so often as Christians we speak out of both sides of our mouth. We say that we divorce the sin from the sinner, but never in actuality do anything of the sort.  And beyond that, we are so often more interested in beating people over the head with doctrine than actually helping them walk as fully devoted followers of Christ.

I never truly understood the struggle of being gay until I became friends with a few people who suffer daily with the fight between the flesh and the spirit (Romans 7).

And yet still, this subject is both taboo.  i am proud to attend a church that confronts the issue and is truly interested in helping those caught in the struggle.  I hope more churches will take the lead and go even further.

I think at some point we have to admit to ourselves that this really is a problem that is not going to go away. Tons of people in our families, schools, and yes, congregations, struggle with this issue. As someone who has seen the pain lived out in other’s lives, the church in general really needs a new approach to communicating our stance on homosexuality.  But more importantly, we need a better method of helping those who struggle with homosexuality but also desire to live a life in harmony with God.

To those who are caught in a struggle between holiness and the desires of the flesh… don’t give up on God, the church, your school, or Christianity.  Hope may be just around the corner.

The article, for what it’s worth:

“Last year, Soulforce Equality Rider Vince Pancucci challenged Cedarville University to ask how her thoughts, words, actions, and biases harm her homosexual brothers and sisters.

“Pancucci joined Michael “Enku” Ide to illustrate the spiritual violence that well-intended Christians so often inflict on the lives of homosexual men and women.

“Ide explained how hostility and narrow-mindedness drove him away from the Church, and only the authentic, unconditional love of a handful of Christians he later met brought him back. “Their faith was alive,” Ide said, “you could see it in their lives” Let us, almost a year later, accept Pancucci’s challenge. In what ways do our thoughts, words, actions, and biases harm our homosexual brothers and sisters?

“To answer this question, we turn to Ricky Smith and his Cedarville experience. Ricky was an enthusiastic, highly involved Cedarville student. He was a small group leader and class officer. As a communication major, Ricky enjoyed working for Resound Radio. He led a ministry and poured himself into the lives if his friends. Like most students, Ricky came to Cedarville nervous yet excited about his college experience.

“Ricky is also gay.

“Despite his enthusiasm about Cedarville, Ricky transferred to Ohio State University last semester; Being a homosexual student at Cedarville University, explains Ricky, had grown too difficult. Ricky’s story begins early his freshman year.

““Freshman year,” explains Ricky via a telephone interview, “the deans had reason to believe I was gay.” Ricky met with a Dean Smith, Associate Dean of Profile edit Friends Inbox home reason to believe I was gay.” Ricky met with a Dean Smith, Associate Dean of Campus Life, and together the two discussed homosexuality at Cedarville. “Dean Smith told me that many people at Cedarville struggle with homosexuality. He said there’s at least one homosexual guy in every hall.” Pursuant to Dean Smith’s suggestion, Ricky attended counseling for two semesters. “Nothing he said, nothing he gave me to read, and no one he asked me to talk to made me change at all. I quit counseling after freshman year.”

“Despite leaving counseling, however, Ricky desired, as he always had, to overcome his homosexuality. It wasn’t until April’s Soulforce visit that Ricky’s approach to his sexuality began to change. “When I heard that Soulforce was visiting, I decided to read a lot of their material. After praying about it, I sincerely believed that nothing was wrong with me. The problem was with Cedarville.” Despite his skepticism towards Cedarville, however, Ricky did not intend to leave. It wasn’t until last semester—when Ricky’s church and family learned about his sexuality—that things began to change.

“”When my pastor called, he labeled me a filthy sodomite and questioned my salvation.” The following week, Ricky’s church voted him out. A week later, Ricky withdrew from Cedarville. Today, Ricky is a junior communication major at Ohio State University. Within his first few weeks at OSU, Ricky joined the Human Rights Campaign, an advocacy group raising awareness about homosexuality.

“Looking back on his Cedarville experience, Ricky is disappointed at the manner in which students treated both him and the question of homosexuality. “People emailed me explaining that they have homosexual friends that are sleeping around, going to clubs, getting AIDS, and dying alone. They told me that no one goes to their funerals. These are the stories people told to ‘quote’ change me.”

“”One girl,” explains Ricky, “suggested that, to overcome my homosexuality, I try to act more masculine. The ignorance floored me.” Ricky further explains that his hallmates talked about him and his sexuality behind his back. “Everyone talked about me,” says Ricky, “but no one talked to me.”

“Ricky suggests that [gay] students at Cedarville begin by speaking with someone they trust. “You shouldn’t have to be alone,” says Ricky.